A therapist in New York who's been working with couples and families for two decades. You might, however, write a dirty letter about all the hot things you'd like to do to your partner or that you'd like done to you. It's because there's a part where the author agrees with a client that it's respectful to withhold telling the truth about an affair. To love is to merge. If she had her way, you'd never consult a manual again. The book was not without its highlights, however.
In another section, Perel usefully describes the limitations of the spoken word in the pursuit of everlasting sexual bliss. The problem, she says, lie in the unspoken assumptions of most marriages. Good sex doesn't have to end when the hormones cool. More often than illuminating, however, the content was repetitive and replaceable. Or maybe you should start two e-mail accounts just for the sexual dialogue between you and your mate. If you fantasize about the perfect job or the perfect mate, it's because you want these things to happen in reality. Not for Perel a how-to book of ridiculous exercises you can practice to rekindle the passion you once knew. I also appreciated her discussion on how sexual fantasies differ from everyday fantasies. She made me think in ways I had never before. During a recent conversation with a friend and colleague who is very open and accepting of alternative sexualities and is generally unflinchingly supportive of the goals of the American cultural left, the issue of monogamy and politics arose. May 01, kareem rated it it was amazing If you're in a long-term relationship, or ever want to be in one, you must read this book. It's engaging, the topic is fascinating, and Perel has some refreshingly smart suggestions for maintaining or rec If you're in a long-term relationship, or ever want to be in one, you must read this book. I've heard this argument before and I strongly disagree. Cross the gap, feel the sizzle. She's not fooled underneath those smart New York rationalizations are hearts that still want to believe in hot sex with someone you know. A book about sex in marriage now there's a thin book! Note that this book probably won't resonate with everybody: And despite her predilection for progressive thought, she quickly staked out well trodden normative terrain, saying that "any man who cheats on his wife is a complete dirtbag. Withholding the truth is not about respect, it's about fear. You can be a mom and a sex kitten. Throughout, it's never quite clear whether this is a legitimate self-help manual or a series of slightly tawdry, Springeresque sketches. If she had her way, you'd never consult a manual again. Everyone knows that familiarity breeds contempt. I suspect that many of her readers will find such tones similarly off putting. I'm reminded here of a passage from Monica Ali's Brick Lane: Not for Perel a how-to book of ridiculous exercises you can practice to rekindle the passion you once knew.
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